


Wake me up, I'm dreaming (a nightmare)

by ko_mma



Series: random Thor and Loki [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Sad, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 08:50:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21491614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ko_mma/pseuds/ko_mma
Summary: I read too many sad fics, I had a weird dream and I woke up sad. So yeah, this is mostly unedited, I just needed to get the sadness out. For those who are still reading this, enjoy :').
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Series: random Thor and Loki [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549042
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Wake me up, I'm dreaming (a nightmare)

**Author's Note:**

> I read too many sad fics, I had a weird dream and I woke up sad. So yeah, this is mostly unedited, I just needed to get the sadness out. For those who are still reading this, enjoy :').

It took Loki a day and a half to get there. 

When he'd been released, there had been no one to call, no one to pick him up, so he’d bundled up the few things he considered his, and gone.

It was difficult, taking buses, begging for money at the stations, hitching rides. But he made it.

He made it.

And now the house was just a few blocks away, but Loki could get his legs to make a single step.

In all these years, Thor hadn’t visited him once. Hadn’t called once.

Loki understood, of course. He knew why.

But now was six years later, and they were both changed men.

Loki was, at least.

He could do this; what was the worst that could happen anyway? 

Thor telling him to go, to never bother him again, to just shut the door in his face like he was no-one? 

Loki’d survived that before; he would survive that now, too.

He would.

Loki raised his hand to the door bell.

That was a new bell. New and nice and gold and shiny. That hadn’t been there before. Had Thor changed the bell? Had the old one been broken? Did he just want a new one? A change? Get rid of that old and ugly and broken thing?  
And a name tag. Thor had never had a name tag. And this one didn’t even say Thor. Or Odinson. Was Thor living with someone else?  
Was Thor ...married?

The door opened, and Loki was face to face with a man he’d never seen before.

Who was that?

Had Loki rung?

Did Thor know that man?

Did Thor _ live _ with him?

Loki flinched when there were fingers in front of his face, too close.

“Are you alright?”

Loki didn’t know that voice. He tried to focus his eyes. The man was frowning at him.

“I’m looking for Thor. He lives here.” 

His voice sounded strangely far away.

“Thor Odinson? He used to live here. But he sold the house a year ago.”

Oh.

Thor had sold the house.

Thor had moved away.

Loki’s head felt strangely light.

“Did he say where he was going?”

“He said something about Norway, I think. He said he wanted to go home.”

Norway.

Thor had gone back to Norway. 

Loki was already on the street when he heard the man calling something to him. He didn’t register the words, but it didn’t matter.

Thor was in Norway.

They’d left Norway after the death of their parents, with no plans of ever coming back.

Loki hadn’t come back.

Thor had.

Loki walked until his feet hurt, with no aim or direction. It wasn’t like he had anywhere to go anyway. 

Thor had left him.

Loki walked and walked and the tears never came.

**

It took Loki seven months to buy a plane ticket.

He found a job as a waiter in a disgusting fast food place at day and as a bartender in a disgusting bar at night.

He found a place to stay, to sleep and occasionally shower. Dirty, small, and cheap.

He worked as much as he could, slept as little as he could. Ate when he felt like he would pass out if he didn’t.

The only thing Loki felt was numb. He knew he wasn’t healthy. He knew he was even more underweight that usual. But that didn’t matter right now.

All that mattered was Thor.

**

The journey home passed like a dream. And now Loki was standing in the town they’d grown up in, the town their parents had raised them in.

The town he’d sworn himself to never go back to.

It was of course possible Thor wasn’t here. Was somewhere else. Had changed his plans. Had lied to that man. 

But it was the only information Loki had. And Loki needed to find Thor.

Loki was drowning in noise. Why was everything so loud? 

He needed to find Thor.

Loki walked not knowing where he was going. 

He walked until he heard someone call his name.

“Loki? Loki! Is that you?”

That was… the woman who had owned the bakery. What was her name? Loki couldn‘t remember. It didn’t matter.

But she was talking to him, and Loki needed to focus.

“...that happened? How are you holding up? I know it’s hard, but you have to look after yourself, my boy.”

She was pitying him. When he was younger, he would have been seething at that, would have told her off immediately.

But now, he felt nothing. Now, that didn’t matter.

“Was Thor here? Do you know where he is now?”

She was looking at Loki now, a strange slant to her eyebrows.

When she spoke, she spoke slowly.

“He came back about a three years ago. Didn’t you know that?”

No. He didn’t. Thor didn’t talk to him. Hadn’t talked to him since that last time.

“Loki.” She looked pained now. “Loki, you don’t know? No-one told you?”

Of course he didn’t know. Of course no-one had told him. 

But he was here now.

Why was she looking at him like that?

“Loki, your brother died. A year ago. It was a car crash. When he came here, he was… wasn’t doing so well. He’d been drinking. I’m so sorry Loki. Do you want to -”

But Loki wasn’t listening any more. Away, he needed to bee away from this, just away. This wasn’t real, it couldn‘t be.

Thor couldn‘t be dead.

He couldn‘t be.

Loki collapsed onto the ground, folding himself up as small as possible, shutting the world out. 

He was shaking, crying, crying tears that hadn’t come since that last time.

Breathing had become hard, so hard; but did that even matter?

It didn’t.

Nothing mattered anymore.


End file.
